1. Mountain Town

There's a bunch of birds in the sky,
And some deers just went running by
Oh, the snow's pure and white on the earth rich and brown!
Just Another Sunday morning in my quiet mountain town.

The sun is shining and the grass is green
Under the three feet of snow, I mean.
This is the day when it's hard to wear a frown!
All the happy people stop to say "hello,"
Even though the temperature's low.
It's a perfect Sunday morning in my quiet little mountain town.

You can see your breath hanging in the air.
You see homeless people, but you just don't care.
It's a sea of smiles in which we'd be glad to drown!
(Don't you know? It's like a perfect winter day
And that I'm glad I can say)
That's right! It's Sunday morning in our quie tlittle white-bread redneck mountain ntown!

Look at those frail and fragile boys,
It really gets me down.
The world is such a rotten place,
And city life's a complete disgrace!
That's why I moved to this redneck meshuggeneh
qui-et moun-tain town!

2. The Movie

Off to the movies we shall go,
where we learn everything that we know,
Cause the movies teach us what our parents don't have time to say!
And this movie's gonna make our lives complete,
(Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet.
Super sweet!)
Thank God we live in a quiet little redneck Podunk white-trash
(Kick-ass!) U… S… A!!!

3. Uncle Fucka

Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka!
You're a cock-sucking ass-licking uncle fucka!
You're an uncle fucka; yes, it's true!
Nobody fucks uncles quite like you!

Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka!
You're the one that fucked your uncle, uncle fucka!
You don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn;
You just fuck your uncle all day long!

Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka! (Uncle fucka)
You're a boner-biting bastard, uncle fucka!
You're an uncle fucka, I must say.
Well, you fucked your uncle yesterday!

4. Girl

There's the girl that I like.
Now, more than ever,
she gives me butterflies.
It makes my stomach queasy every time she walks by.
I know I can be cool if I try.

5. M'kay

Follow my plan and very soon you will say,
"It's easy, m'kay."

Step 1: instead of "ass", say "buns", like "kiss my buns" or "You're a buns-hole"
Step 2: instead of "shit", say "poo", as in "bull-poo," "poo-head" and "this poo is cold"
Step 3: with "bitch", drop the t, 'cause "bich" is Latin for generosity
Step 4: don't say "fuck" anymore, 'cause "fuck" is the worst word that you can say.
So just use the word "M'kay."

We can do it. It's all up to us, m'-kay.
M'kay.
With a little plan we can change our lives today.
You can change it today.
You/We don't have to spend your/our lives shootin' up in the trash,
Homeless on the streets, giving hand jobs for cash.
Follow this plan and very soon you will say,
"It's easy, m'kay."

(Now you're cured! )

6. Kenny's death

Whatwhatwhaaat?! What was that word young man?!
Little boy at peace, what is this place beyond the stars?
Open up your eyes. What are these things you're moving towards?
Head so full of wonder
Worries in the past
Could it be that you are free at last?
Little boy, you're goin' to Hell.

You said bad words, threw rocks at the birds; now this is your hotel.
You ain't goin back. This ain't Disneyland, it's HELL
For hurtin' that bird, and not goin to church, starin' at boobs everyday.
Thought you were in bed, instead you're in HELL!

Hell isn't good, no, hell isn't good, yeah!
Hell isn't good, no, hell isn't good, yeah!

7. Blame Canada

We must stop dirty language from getting to our children's ears
We must go fight the source of it.
(But what is the source?)
Oh, that's easy. Times have changed.
Our kids are getting worse.
They won't obey their parents;
They just want to fart and curse!

Should we blame the government?
Or blame society?
Or should we blame the images on TV?

NO! Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
With all their beady little eyes
And flappin' heads so full o' lies!

Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
We need to form a full assault!
It's Canada's fault!

Don't blame me
For my son Stan.
He saw the darned cartoon
And now he's off to join the Klan!

And my boy Eric once
Had my picture on his shelf, [shows it]
But now when I see him he tells me to fuck myself.

Well? Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
It seems that everything's gone wrong
Since Canada came along!

Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
They're not even a real country anyway!

My son could've been a doctor or a lawyer, rich and true.
Instead he burned up like a piggy on a barbecue.

Should we blame the matches?
Should we blame the fire?
Or the doctors who allowed him to expire?

Heck, no!
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!

With all their hockey hullabaloo
And that bitch, Anne Murray, too.

Blame Canada!
Shame on Canada!
For…

The smut we must stop, the trash we must smash.
The laughter and fun must all be undone.
We must blame them and cause a fuss
Before somebody thinks of blaming Us!

8. Kyle's Mom's a Big Ole Fat Stupid Fucking Bitch

Weeeeeeeeeellll
Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch,
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls

On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch,
On Wednesday to Saturday she's a bitch
Then on Sunday, just to be different,
She's a super King Kamehameha bee-atch

(Come on! You all know the words!)
Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom?
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world.
She's a mean ole bitch, and she has stupid hair.
She's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.

Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
She's a stupid bitch! (Whoa!)
Kyle's mom's a bitch
And she's such a dirty bitch! (Bitch!)
Talk to kids around the world,
And it might go a little bit something like this:

Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom?
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world.
She's a mean ole bitch, and she has stupid hair.
She's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch

Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.
She's a stupid bitch!
Kyle's mom's a bitch
And she's such a dirty bitch!
I really mean it.
Kyle's mom, she's a big fat fucking bitch!

Big ole fat fucking bitch, Kyle's mom! Yeah-tch!
(what?
fuck!)

9. What Would Brian Boitano Do

What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now?
He'd make a plan and he'd follow through.
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics
Skating for the gold,
He did two Salchows and a triple Lutz
While wearing a blindfold!

When Brian Boitano was in the Alps
Fighting grizzly bears,
He used his magical fire-breath
And saved the maidens fair!

So what would Brian Boitano do
If he were here today?
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two.
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

(I want this V-chip out of me.
It has stunted my vocabulary.)
(And I just want my mom to stop fighting everyone.)
(For Wendy I'll be an activist, too,)
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

And what would Brian Boitano do?
He'd call all the kids in town.
And tell them to unite for truth.
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

(Someone say my name?)
(Who are you?)
(I'm Brian Dennehy.)
(…What? No, not fuckin' Brian Dennehy!
Dude, get the fuck out of here!)
(Oh. Bye-ee.)

When Brian Boitano traveled through time
To the year three thousand ten,
He fought the evil Robot King
And saved the human race again

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids
He beat up Kublai Khan!
'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from anybody

(so Let's call all the kids together
And unite to stop our moms.
And we'll save Terrance and Phillip, too,)
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

10. Up There

Sometimes I think
When I look up, real high
That there's such a big world up there,
I'd like to give it a try

But then I sink,
'Cause it's here I'm s'posed to stay.
But I get so lonely down here;
Tell me, why does it have to be that way?

Up there, there's so much room,
Where babies burp and flowers bloom.
Everyone dreams; I can dream, too.
Up there, up

Where the skies are ocean-blue I could be safe and live without a care, up There.
They say I don't belong (Ooo-oo-oo-oo)
I'm staying below, alone.
Because of my beliefs I'm supposed
To stay where evil is sown.

But what is evil, anyway? (Haa-aa-a-a)
Is there reason to the rhyme?
Without evil there could be no good, so it must be
Good to be evil sometimes.

Up there, there's so much room, (Aaa-aaa)
Where babies burp and flowers bloom.
Everyone dreams; I can dream, too.
Up there, up

Where the skies are ocean-blue,
I could be safe and live without a care,
Without a care,
Live without a care.
If I could…
If only I could live up ["…live…up…"]

11. La Resistance lives on

God has smiled upon you this day.
The fate of a nation in your hands

And blessed be the children, we, who fight with all our bravery
'Til only the righteous stand

You see the distant flames, they bellow in the night
You fight in all our names for what we know is right.

And when you all get shot and cannot carry on,
Though you die, La Resistance lives on!

You may get stabbed in the head with a dagger or a sword.
You may be burned to death, or skinned alive, or worse.

But when they torture you, you will not feel the need to run, for,
Though you die, La Resistance lives on!

12. Temorrow Night

Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
Because the country's gone awry!
Tomorrow night these freaks will fry!

Tomorrow night.
Our lives'll change.
Tomorrow night.
We'll be entertained.
An execution!
What a sight!
Tomorrow night!

Up there, there's so much room,
Where babies burp and flowers bloom.
Tomorrow night, up there is doomed,
And so I will be going soon!

Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka!
You're a boner-biting bastard, uncle fucka!
Looks like we may be out of luck.
Tomorrow night we're pretty fucked!

Why did our mothers start this war?
What the fuck are they fighting for?
When did this song become a marathon?

I want to be………… up………………… there!
When Canada is dead and gone there'll be no more Celine Dion!

13. I Can Change

Some people say that I'm a bad guy.
They may be right, they may be right.
But it's not as if I don't try.
I just fuck up, try as I might.

But I can change, I can change.
I can learn to keep my promises, I swear it
I'll open up my heart and I will share it. Any minute now, I will be born again.

Yes, I can change, I can change.
I know I've been a dirty little bastard
I like to kill, I like to maim. Yes I'm insane, but it's okay 'cause I can change

It's not my fault that I'm so evil.
It's society. Society.
You see, my parents were sometimes abusive.
And it made a prick of me.
But I can change, I can change.

What if you remain a sandy little butthole?
Ey, Satan! Don't be such a twit! Mother Teresa won't have shit on me!
Just watch. Just watch me change! Here I go, I'm changing!

14. I'm Super

Bombs are flying.
People are dying.
Children are crying, politicians are lying, too.
Cancer is killing.
Texaco's spilling.
The whole world's gone to hell, but how are you?

I'm super! Thanks for asking. All things considered, I couldn't be better, I must say!
I'm feeling super. Nah, nothing bugs me!
Everything is super when you're- Don't you think I look cute in this hat?

I'm so sorry, Mr. Cripple,
But I just can't feel too bad for you right now.
Because I'm feeling so insanely super!
……
That even the fact that you can't walk can't bring me down.
He's super! Thanks for asking.
All things considered, he couldn't be better, he must say!

I'm super! No, nothing bugs me!
Woo!
Everything is super when you're- Don't you think I look cute in this hat?
These little pants?
This matching tie
That I got at Merv's?
I'm super!

In the barracks and the trenches as well.
Stick 'em up!
Big Gay Al says, "Do ask, do tell!"
Skittles!
Yes, he's super and he's proud to be fey.
Okay?
Everything is super when you're… gay!

When you're gay!

15. Mountain Town Again

Everything worked out. What a happy end!
Americans and Canadians are friends again.
So let's all join hands and knock oppression down!
Good Lordy, I'm found!
Don't you know our little lives are now complete?
'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet.
Super sweet!

Thank God we live in this quiet little puissant redneck Podunk jerkwater
greenhorn one-horse mud-hole peckerwood right-wing whistle-stop hobmail
truck-drivin' old-fashioned hayseed inbred unkempt out-of-date out-of-touch
white-trash Kick-ass!
Moun-tain town!